Your Sovereign Power Shift: Dusting of Crowns, Drinking and Dancing Required


How do you feel about power?

Your Power!

While you think about that one…a little personal back-story.

During a session with my archetype coach and mentor a few years ago,  she told me I was using my power to align myself with those who treated me poorly as a way to prove I was good enough in the world…she said I was leaking my power everywhere.  Her comments stung, they lingered in my gut… and I was offended, so offended in fact that I cancelled our sessions for three months–while I stewed…thinking that would teach HER.

I eventually realized she was right. I was doing what Brene Brown calls “hustling for my worthiness”, you know, busting ass to make sure everything is tied up with a pretty bow, hiding all those messy feelings and working double time to make the outside look like a million bucks, because {I} everything was falling apart on the inside…

When I find myself in similar situations I recognize it early for what it is. My responsibility.

A theme has emerged over the past year from the work I am doing with the amazing women who have found their way to my sessions.  What I find most interesting is that even when the specifics are different, there are strong similarities that all point to POWER.

Giving their power away.

There are many ways to give our power away…there are days when we leak it all– day–long, leaving us wondering why we are exhausted, sleepless, ravenous at night and just plain “Pissy Pattys” {our} household term of endearment for cranky moods.

One of those subtle yet accumulative things we don’t consciously think about.

Giving away your power can look like this …

Worrying about what other people think.

Seeking approval from others, or living up to their expectations.

Making others responsible for our satisfaction– personal and professional.

Spending time with people who drain our energy or make us feel bad.

Putting the needs of others before our own; then resenting it a {Pissy Patty} moment.

Feeling like you need to explain or justify yourself and how you live your life.

Here is the BIG one that usually provides our first ~Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.~ moment on the road to truth..

Continuing to live in a way that is not authentic to who we are, simply to please others and fool ourselves.

Living this way affects everything we do, even our business because promoting anything other than who we really are is not sustainable long term…so eventually~ You gotta dance with the one who brung ya.

In my personal experience it turned out that I was asking people to show up in my life in ways I was not showing up for myself, which made me miserable. It was my way of shifting my power to others, making them in charge, so I wouldn’t have to be; then becoming frustrated when my Queenly desires were not fulfilled as I had imagined.

This Queen no longer hustles for anyone or anything…definitely not for approval. As I have written about before, the word hustle carries  deep meaning for me, it`s my caution word–attached to giving my power away.  My inner prostitute could tell you SO many sordid stories about this.

Owning our power is different for each of us… it takes daily practice…sometimes hourly….or less.

Here’s my {long-ish} list to keeping your power right where it belongs… within You.

1. Take responsibility for yourself and your stuff.

2. Make decisions that feel good for you…not what you think others need you to do.

3. Do your own thing and do not worry what others think.

4. Put your needs first, so when you do for others, you feel good rather than resentful.  No, that is not a typo…  Put your needs first.

5. Take control of your perspective toward difficult situations.

6. When people are aggressive or rude to you– realize it is mostly to do with them… Move on quickly.

My little cheat sheet. I call it…The Sovereign Power Shift

Owning your sovereign power is the spiritual art of not giving a shit about the small things.

Being comfortable not giving a damn what people think because you are the QUEEN in your life. Dust off that Crown.

Feeling at home in your body is HUGE, because it holds your power.  Your body is your most important tool and your beacon for wellness.. it is smarter than you are.  Trust me on that one.

Knowing that you are only responsible for your stuff, no one else’s.  Sell those rescue life rings in your next garage sale. It is liberating to know that by owning our power we create the ability to design life experience.

Something I [finally] appreciated during my own experience, and I am also hearing from women, is that the resistance I expected or initially feared from others rarely happens.

WE get in our own way.

Owning our power does not make us hard edged or uncaring, it makes us selfish..betcha that word just felt a little icky (more to come on becoming selfish because it deserves its own blog post) healthy, and loving.

It takes time, so go gentle sister.

So, who is rocking their power these days?

Archetypes Courage Life Spoken Out Loud Wellness

  • Deb August 23, 2014, 10:50 pm

    Spot on! I learnt my lesson about giving away my powet to others a long time ago now! Thank the heavens! Life is so much better now!

  • Maria August 25, 2014, 1:43 am

    Hi Dana
    loved this – I am working through this personally at the moment and the resonance was heartfelt. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. With love, Maria xx

  • farah August 25, 2014, 6:27 pm

    Great post Dana – can relate! Especially with : Spending time with people who drain our energy or make us feel bad… as often they are family/spouse, which makes it particuarly difficult.
    I like your cheat sheet, and am glad you put in “feeling at home in your body”. It is soooo important. Nice one, am off to dust off that crown!

  • Valerie August 26, 2014, 9:28 pm

    Oh, what perfect words for me today! THANK YOU!

    And they are perfect, not because I’m giving my power away but because I want to celebrate that I’m not! I just, 5 minutes ago, refused to get involved in a little mini-drama that had nothing to do with me but someone was trying to get me involved. I could very easily have tried to prove my worthiness by jumping in to help set it all straight. And I didn’t!

    Your words have helped me own and celebrate that decision so that my power will be even stronger next time.

    Thank you!

    • Dana August 26, 2014, 10:39 pm

      Valerie, its amazing how liberating it feels to understand your own power. Fantastic! D?

  • Susie August 26, 2014, 11:11 pm

    HELL YES TO ALL OF THIS!! I love your cheat sheet & I like to think of it as being Self-Responsible! Love you & the way you think Dans!!

  • april August 27, 2014, 1:39 am

    “hiding all those messy feelings . . .” one of the roadblocks i see so very often in my coaching practice. love your cheat sheet, dana!

  • Cathy Sykora August 27, 2014, 8:38 pm

    What a great post! I firmly believe the only way to every truly find satisfaction and joy in life is to not leak our “power” all over. I see so many people who stand in their own way or are unhappy when they hand their power to someone else and then they do not use it in the way the person wishes. We are responsible for our own happiness and wellness, it is only then we can authentically give to others as well.


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