Hey beloved Sisters,
We are on the count down to the holidays!
I know with this busy time of year it’s almost impossible to sit for quiet moments with ourselves,however for me, it seems the busier things get the more I need to get quiet, retreat and reflect. I feel the need to re-group and push the reset button to get clear on my intentions before ringing in the New Year. A cleansing ritual of sorts.
So, this is the time of year I clean my house- spiritually. I tend to my heart, mind and soul. I write things off, clean out the cobwebs, purge and go about reorganizing through quiet reflection. I listen to and release my soul from the meaningless feelings and bad moments I have hung onto. I write off losses as I begin to make space for newness in my life for the coming year.
Today I listened to myself about the crying that comes as part of the cleansing. The tears for the new feelings; ones of enlightenment served with a side order of holy, the acknowledgment of loss that comes with growth and is examined in those intimate and quiet moments that have worked their way through me and settled deep inside.
I cried for the woman I was, and the one I have become, and the one I am still destined to be. I cried for the recognition that comes after the acknowledgement that my souls’ knowing has taken root. I cried for the feelings of love in the wake of accepting that my heart has a new peace for the old familiar sharp edges and the limiting discarded lenses.
I cried for the new and the old as they have both pushed and pulled me away and toward my yearnings. There is light in the contradictions of resistance and forgiveness.
I cried for the revealing of me and my need to connect until I am all hung out on the line, wind dried fresh and crisp in the sunlight, washed clean and ready.
I cried for the ability to stand at life’s front door and be knocked down, to be circled by the critics in disbelief, consumed by their judgement and uncertainty. And for the behaving badly and the reverence of truth that rubs up against me reminding me of my part and my already enough-ness.
I cried for the acknowledgement of false expectations, false comparisons, and false investment in the stories I tell and re-tell myself.
I cried in honor of my divine cravings, the fullness of the present, and for my soul that never lies. I cried for the blessings, the goodness and abundance I enjoy.
Then I asked…..
Now that I am here, stretched and expansive with curiosity, what now?
What is it I am willing to serve up, to lay on the line? What am I willing to be open to receiving?
Fear walks in the door disguised as procrastination, doubt and not being enough. Fear feels hot.
How often do we truly dig deep and touch the real yearning protected by fear within us? The “too hot to touch places” that hold the precious things we say we want …the bigger than life dreams and holy fuck visions that we keep under wraps, for fear of judgement…AND SO, how often do we hold back and stop short on moving forward, from going all the way with ourselves?
How much sacrifice, vulnerability and uncertainty are we willing to wager in this one life to have what we tell ourselves we want?
How much room are we willing to make for the new? What are we willing to ditch and say goodbye to, that no longer serves us yet keeps us safe?
What do we believe we deserve?
The soul exchanges with the physical and together they create our karmic experience…. of what we are here to receive, give, and learn individually and collectively.
It’s all there waiting for us to call it forward.
“You get as many chances as you want; as many as you dare to make for yourself.”~ Edward Bloor
2014 feels to me like an opening for much more than where I am. It feels potent and rich, a stronger pull to get serious and brave about what I really desire and face what I fear.
I was asked in my quiet moment…
What do I have to offer the universe? How can I serve? What do I want to create in this world? How committed am I to the things I tell the universe I truly want?
Here is what I now know is true, for me:
All my cravings are divine.
Synchronicities are instructive.
Procrastinations are sacred.
Listen more. Speak your truth always, till it hurts.
Meld your wants to your weakness.
Create dreams when you don’t know how.
Truth is not simple.
Sacrifice isn’t something you do once.
Enlightenment always comes with a side order of holy.
This can be the year to commit more to ourselves, up the ante and call our own bluff by falling softly into what is meant for us.
More love. More desire. More unfolding. More trust. More courage. More space to receive and accept all that shows up-which we have attracted.
Relax into what is, without the need to make it into what we think it should be.
Our soul, our wise woman naturally absorbs what we are ready to embrace and shed. Sit with her and listen. Ask her to tell you and show you, then let go and trust the wisdom of your heart’s desire without edit or question.
Communicate your desires consistently; be willing to sit with the seemingly void spaces while the Universe configures itself to accommodate your new life.
I dare you. I’ll be casting my desires right along with you.